You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
