Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
