You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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