guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
