just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So vagazzling was a success
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
