She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
