If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
