i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
