thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
