This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
