Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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