I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
