I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
