The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
