Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
