Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
