He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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