I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
