i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
