dude i'm inner monologue high
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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