dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
