even my farts smell like vagina
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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