we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
