Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize