I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
