It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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