Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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