It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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