I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
