that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
