is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
