Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
