I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's official drugs can't kill me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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