I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
