Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
