I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
