Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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