I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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