I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
