i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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