im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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