Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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