I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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