I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
