they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
