The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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