is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There's always time for handjobs
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
