I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
