I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
