One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
