Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
