what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
