STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
