Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
