I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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