I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
