OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
