I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
