I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
