After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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