the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
