i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
we're so committed to being not committed
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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