Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
