Well apparently he's into motor boating.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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